Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Repost: Keeping our children safe in the face of violence

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.





March 13, 2013






All children deserve to be safe, and well-fed and cared for by the people who love them.

Can we all agree on that?

Jonylah Watkins, whose story is posted above, was fed and cared for -- but she wasn't safe. She died this past weekend after she was shot as her father changed her diaper. She was hit by five bullets. Her father, who was injured in the shooting, had no chance to fight back and/or protect himself or his child in that moment. Jonylah was just six months old. To make matters worse, the incident that took her life wasn't the first time her physical environment had been shattered by gunshots; CNN reported that Jonylah's mother sustained a bullet wound to the leg while she was pregnant with the girl.

Stories like this make me feel so sad. Not just for Jonylah's family -- although I can't imagine the grief they feel right now -- but also for her community and the country in which I live. This should never happen. No parent should have to bury a child because of violence or matter-of-factly accept that violence is probable or possible for children who aren't old enough to drive or sign legal contracts. Not in Jonylah's neighborhood, not in anybody else's. Whose fault is it that the girl is dead? That's hard to say.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Repost: What songs do your children associate with you?

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


March 6, 2013

One recent day when I picked up my daughter from school, she decided, once again, to make her displeasure known at the music I was streaming in the car.

"Mommy, I don't like this song," she complained. "Mommy, stop it."

I couldn't believe it. The kid, who has questionable taste in music herself, was being judgmental about my music. The nerve of her!

That said, although my husband and I did listen more closely to lyrics once our little one came along, I'm generally pretty comfortable with the music she hears around the house and in our cars. There's nothing terribly embarrassing, although I do sometimes wonder what she's learning from us about music -- especially since parents, obviously, can shape their kids' musical tastes.

When I was a kid, my dad often played The Temptations' "I Wish It Would Rain," a song I associate with him to this day. Likewise, the first strains of Z.Z. Hill's "Down Home Blues" always bring a vision of my mom snapping her fingers and dancing to my mind's eye. Quite a few of my favorite songs have similar sounds.

My daughter is likely always to associate downbeat electronica songs with her father and songs in genres including opera and hip-hop with me. I'm OK with that.

Do certain songs or musical genres remind you of your parents? What music do you think your children associate with you?

Monday, July 22, 2013

Repost: How would you respond if someone harmed your kid in front of you?

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Feb. 20, 2013



I'm not saying it was right, but let's just say I understand why David Barajas, a Texas man, killed the drunk driver who killed his sons.

The drunk driver killed both of his sons with one crash -- just steps from their home! Barajas, who obviously was overcome by grief in the moment, shot the driver, 20-year-old Jose Banda, in the head.

He now faces a murder charge.

So here's the question: Should he get a break?

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Repost: Report: Obese dads raise kids' cancer risk

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Feb. 13, 2013

Lots of women decide to get fit before trying to conceive, but some research indicates that men who want to father children should also do a better job of watching their weight.

A BMC Medicine study shows that an obese dad's genes could increase a child's risk for cancer later in life.

Additional research is now under way to determine whether intervention can affect the expression of the gene change that represents the increased risk for cancer.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Repost: Choosing a preschool is no fun

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Feb. 6, 2013

OK, I'll admit it: I'm in over my head.

As my husband and I try to determine where almost-4-year-old kiddo will attend school this fall, we're completely overwhelmed. It's hard not to be, what with the applications, open houses, evaluation sessions, and in most cases, sheets of paper detailing registration and tuition costs.

I think I've collected more preschool brochures and website information than I did when I was trying to determine which college I wanted to attend.

I'm not even sure how we'll make a final decision. The schools all seem to be of similar quality, so I tell myself that they're the same and it doesn't matter which one I choose.

But each time I try to convince myself that choosing a preschool isn't a big deal because she's still so young, I'll read or hear about something disturbing happening at a preschool and want instead to question everything I know, have heard or am told about various schools.

What we've found, though, is that there just aren't that many differences between the school that prides itself on its academics and tightly-knit community and the one that instead touts its...tightly-knit community and academics.

Even though we'd prefer to choose a school based on unimpeachable empirical evidence of its superiority, that doesn't seem to exist (it's still preschool, after all), so we're really left to make a decision based on our feelings.

We've got a few weeks before we'll make a final decision, so we'll continue to muddle through our options.

How did you choose which school was best for your small child?

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Repost: Report: Dads who share housework have ambitious daughters

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Jan. 23, 2013

Dads, want to make sure your daughter is ambitious?

Then make sure you do a good job at sharing housework.

A University of British Columbia study has determined that egalitarian dads who share housework well have daughters who are more ambitious and have broader interests than the daughters of dads who aren't so open-minded, according to the Boston Globe.

The study found that while moms and dads both affect their children's ideas about gender roles, dads have an outsized influence on daughters when it comes to those daughters' ambitions and career choices.

Read more about the study here (http://www.livescience.com/26428-dad-sexism-daughter-ambitions.html).

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Repost: What do you want more: $$$ or vacation?

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Jan. 16, 2013

Working moms, which would you rather have: a year of vacation or a 20 percent salary bump?

A study from Working Mother magazine reports that most moms would rather have a 20 percent pay raise than take a year off from work. That sounds about right to me.

The survey, which was sponsored by the Chase Slate credit-card company, also indicated that moms are the chief financial officers of households, and as CFOs, generally are responsible for about 75 percent of household spending.

More than half of the moms say they work outside the home because they are focused on or interested in their careers, and not just for the money -- but at the same time, about 85 percent of us want to be better moms in 2013 than we were in 2012.

Do these results surprise you? Read the rest of the information from the survey at WorkingMother.com.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Repost: My kid won't stop singing an annoying song. Help!

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Jan. 9, 2012

Is there some kind of rule that whatever I find most annoying must be the thing my daughter wants more than anything?

Not long ago, she came home with a song in her heart and on her lips.

She seemed to have a grip on the song's melody, and although I wasn't paying much attention, she kept humming it and dancing. I noticed that she sang the word "baby," the word "sky" and the phrase "oh, oh, oh," but I thought it was something she and her friends at preschool had made up and that she'd forget it in an hour or two.

She didn't. It became...maddening.

Then it occurred to me to Google the preschooler-mangled lyrics so I could figure out what the heck she was actually singing. After a minute or two, I was able to determine that the tune that made me want to throw things was a Katy Perry song.

"Firework," to be specific:



It turned out that it isn't much better when you hear the actual (silly, but child-friendly, luckily) lyrics clearly. And it also turned out that my daughter, upon hearing Mommy and Daddy play the real version of her favorite song once, quickly realized we could play it whenever we "wanted."

Yes, it was a mistake to have her in the room when I finally figured out what the song was. A big, big, BIG mistake.

She now requests it at every opportunity, and to make matters worse, she wants us to jump and dance with her as it plays, and she wants us to play it loudly. You are probably unsurprised to hear that I'm not a big fan of dancing around the house with that song playing at earsplitting decibels.

I'm so confused by the turn my life has taken. When did the most-played song in my household become a shouty, irritating pop ditty? Is my child doomed to terrible taste in music? Which urchin on the playground at her preschool is responsible for teaching this song to her, and how can I return the favor to that child's parents?

And why is this song such an earworm?

Maybe I can learn to deal with it. If I could only just ignite the light and let it shine, and own the night like the Fourth of....AAARGGHH!!

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Repost: Coming to grips with Sandy Hook

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Dec. 19, 2012

So what do we do now?

After the funerals, the post-mortem psychoanalysis of the Sandy Hook killer and the debates about mental illness and gun control, what can concerned parents do next?

My guess? The best thing those of us who are not directly touched by last Friday's horrible incident can do is to go on with our lives. That's not to say that we should be unaffected by what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary; I think anyone would have to be made of stone not to feel a lump in his or her throat when hearing or reading about what is most parents' worst nightmare.

However, this is not a time to make drastic changes in a family environment or schedule, nor is it a time to revive the tired old mommy wars in a not-so-subtle attempt to slam working parents.

We should continue to reassure our children and answer their questions about the massacre in an age-appropriate way, to the best of our abilities. We should even talk with them about death, and what it means and is and isn't.



And while it's certainly a time to be vigilant and encourage our children to be watchful of their surroundings, it might be going a step too far to surreptitiously profile people who seem as though they might match the profile of mass shooting killers.

As difficult as it seems, this is definitely a time for parents to keep our wits about us and try to keep to our regular routines. I doubt that a few extra hugs and cuddles will hurt anybody or anything, though.

I quite literally shudder when I think about the terror felt by the children at Sandy Hook Elementary School. I'm terribly sad for those lost, those who experienced or heard the horror as it happened, the parents of the school's children and the entire community.

How are you and your family handling the aftermath of this terrible event?

The next morning: More Zimmerman verdict commentary


My last post listed commentary that went up within two to three hours of the jury issuing a 'not guilty' verdict in George Zimmerman's second-degree murder trial in the case of Trayvon Martin.

Here's more commentary that I found this morning:

South Florida Sun-Sentinel: After Zimmerman acquittal, hoping for peace and change
Essence: George Zimmerman verdict: Black moms react
Criminal Defense: The embarrassment of the George Zimmerman verdict
The Guardian: Open season on black boys after a verdict like this
New York Daily News: George Zimmerman verdict: Jury's decision unsatisfying but respectable given the circumstances
New York Daily News: George Zimmerman now free to do what he should've done that tragic night: Walk away
The Atlantic: On the killing of Trayvon Martin by George Zimmerman
The Black Snob: Zimmerman verdict is the status quo, but you are not
Global Grind: Rest in peace Trayvon Benjamin Martin
Tampa Bay Times: What the George Zimmerman verdict means -- and doesn't mean -- for race and media in America

RELATED: Read my initial 2012 post about Trayvon Martin's death.

Photo: George Zimmerman is congratulated by his defense team after being found not guilty (Joe Burbank/Orlando Sentinel/POOL)

Roundup of commentary on the George Zimmerman 'not guilty' verdict

George Zimmerman was found 'not guilty' tonight in the death of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin.

I've collected some of the opinion writing that appeared online within the first three hours after the announcement of the jury's verdict:

New Yorker: George Zimmerman, not guilty: Blood on the leaves
Gawker: The Zimmerman jury told young black men what we already knew
Orlando Sentinel: George Zimmerman jury reached right verdict
The Atlantic: Law and justice and George Zimmerman
Black America Web: Zimmerman's attorney: 'My client will never be safe'
Red State: There is only tragedy here
The Root: Zimmerman walks: Black life not valued
L.A. Times: Struggling to see justice in verdict
Chicago Sun-Times: Zimmerman trial forced us all to confront our biases
Tampa Bay Times: Verdict does not mask greater truths
The Nation: White Supremacy Acquits George Zimmerman
Dallas Morning News: Shocking Verdict in Zimmerman trial
Lawyers Guns & Money: Florida Justice
Salon: Zimmerman saga was all about race
Colorlines: Hurt, Sorrow, Anger: A first look at reactions to the Zimmerman verdict
National Review: A morality tale that failed
Washington Post: George Zimmerman gets to go home
Slate: Zimmerman's Not Guilty. But Florida Sure Is.

UPDATE: Read the second part of the list.
RELATED: Read my initial Moms At Work post about Trayvon Martin's death.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Repost: No, being an older parent isn't the worst thing in the world

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Dec. 12, 2012

It seems as though every month there's a new study or article designed to convince parents that everything they've ever done is wrong and will ruin their children.

This month, the chattering class wants you to know how absolutely terrible it is -- for you, your child and society at large -- for you to become a parent to a newborn when you're older than 35.

I get it: fertility declines for both men and women after 30 and there are definite studies linking a father's age at the time of conception to the likelihood that a child will suffer with schizophrenia or have autism.

As someone who became a parent for the first time when I was [*cough*] older, however, I'm unimpressed by all this hand-wringing.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Repost: How much do you worry about sexual abuse?

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Dec. 5, 2012

I won't lie: I'm pretty terrified that I'll let the wrong person too close to my daughter, and she'll somehow end up hurt.

The unseemly story surrounding Kevin Clash, who was the voice and puppeteer for the popular Sesame Street character Elmo but is accused of having sex with minors, reminded me of just how vigilant I have to be. While Clash's case was certainly unique, it's clear that I have to stay on my toes to make sure my daughter's not in harm's way. The case, about which Clash has been tight-lipped, was also a reminder that I need to pay attention to the adults who are around her both during school and in weekend activities.

I know intellectually that the rate of child sexual abuse is falling, but that doesn't mean I don't still worry.

But I wonder whether my worry has kept or will keep my daughter from developing relationships that will be meaningful to her as an adult. For example, the pastor of my childhood church was one of my personal heroes; today, however, I'm incredibly unlikely to let my daughter spend time alone with my family's priest.

Are you concerned that your zeal for protecting your family could actually prevent your child/ren from having valuable experiences?

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Repost: Do you know which toys are unsafe?

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Nov. 21, 2012

Black Friday, one of the nation's biggest shopping days, is just hours away, and some of the millions of people who will hit stores will definitely be headed to toy aisles to buy items for kids.

But do they know which toys are safest?

If they don't know but want to know, somebody's already done that work for them. The U.S. Public Interest Research Group, a safety advocacy organization, has put out Trouble in Toyland, its annual report about the safety of toys.

The good news is that U.S. PIRG found fewer problematic toys than ever.

However, at least one Morphobot toy had more metal than allowed by federal regulations and a Dora the Explorer backpack contained a high level of phthalates, substances added to plastics that have been linked with breast cancer and other conditions.

This year's report was focused on toys that could cause hearing loss or choke children, according to ABC News.

Read the report for yourself and keep it in mind if you head out on Black Friday. Happy shopping!

This earworm, though

This song inexplicably has taken up residence in my brain, like a disco virus of some sort

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Repost: Darth Vader military dad surprises son on birthday

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Nov. 14, 2012

It's worth a watch. Enjoy.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Repost: Is it OK for your child to do yoga at school?

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Nov. 7, 2012

Does your kid do yoga at school?

My daughter's preschool teaches children a few poses and some breathing exercises. It's  a way to improve order in the classroom and a way to teach the kids how to calm themselves when they get restless.

I've never seen much of a problem with it, frankly, and actually get a kick out of doing the occasional downward dog with my daughter.

However, some parents in Encinitas, Calif., have objected to their kids taking part in an adapted yoga program, mostly because of the practice's roots as part of Hinduism, according to the Los Angeles Times.

An attorney representing the parents said that allowing students to take part in an exercise program that has roots in Hinduism is religious indoctrination.

The school district argues, however, that the program is just exercise and has no religious component.

If you are not Hindu, would you object to your child taking part in a yoga-inspired exercise program at school? If you are Hindu, are you alarmed by the tone of this objection to yoga?

Y.N. Rich Kids, "My Bike"

I like this -- but the video makes me cringe because the kids aren't wearing helmets.



Monday, July 8, 2013

Repost: Is your city one of the best for working moms?

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Oct. 31, 2012

If you're a working mother in Columbus, Ohio, you've got it made, according to Forbes magazine.

Columbus is the top-ranked city on the magazine's annual list of best cities for working moms.

Apparently, Columbus is tops because women tend to be well-paid there compared with other cities, commutes aren't too long, its violent crime rate is lower than cities of similar size, its school district spends well on students and it's got plenty of doctors. Who knew, right?

Columbus beat out Buffalo, N.Y.; New Orleans; Hartford, Conn., Providence, R.I., Nashville; and Cleveland, among other cities, for the top spot.

Orlando is not among the top 20. Too bad, because I think the weather here and the proximity to guaranteed kid-pleasing theme parks, among other things, should have at least merited a spot among the also-rans.

What makes your city a good place for working moms?

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Repost: When a kid gets sick while a parent's at work

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Oct. 24, 2012

Like most working parents, I consider cold and flu season to be the bane of my existence.

Whenever I notice one of my daughter's playmates coughing or sniffling during morning dropoff or afternoon pickup, I get prepared. Sure enough, a day or two later, she'll also have a cough or runny nose, or even worse, a fever.

This all happens more often than I'd like, and sometimes means somebody needs to take off from work to stay at home with her. I'm lucky that she's generally healthy and that I have a husband who shares child care responsibilities equally with me and who has taken his share of sick days for kiddo. Still, when it's my turn to take those days off or handle care for a grumpy, slightly sick preschooler, it can throw a real wrench into my work week.

One afternoon a few days ago, for example, I'd just started a time-sensitive project at work when my cell phone rang. I glanced at the caller ID, intending to let it go to voicemail, but then I recognized the number: my daughter's school.

In which the mom from 'The Cat in the Hat' answers her critics



Ever wondered where the parents of the kids in 'The Cat in the Hat' were when the titular cat came and wrecked their home?

The 'mom' finally speaks.

(image via Random House)

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Repost: Nope, girls shouldn't have to 'act like ladies'

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Oct. 3, 2012

Every now and then, I catch myself telling my daughter to do something "like a lady."

"Sit like a lady," I say, when she's so engrossed in play that she doesn't recognize that her clothes are in disarray.

"Act like a lady," I say, when she's tired or hungry and I want to stop her from misbehaving while I do one more grownup thing.

I'm trying to stop, mainly because I recognize that I'm just spewing words that don't mean what I want them to mean -- and because I don't actually want her to be "a lady."

Sure, I want her to be polite and know how to behave in all sorts of situations, but it definitely seems to me that being a lady means being delicate and making sure your presence doesn't cause anyone discomfort. It often seems to be code for "seen but not heard."

A Senate candidate in Missouri, Rep. Todd Akin, recently said his opponent, U.S. Sen. Claire McCaskill, who is fighting to retain her seat, had been "more ladylike" in a debate with one opponent than she had been in a debate with him. It sounds as though Akin thought it was an insult to describe McCaskill as unladylike, but in my book, being described as ladylike is actually the term that's not complimentary.

It's definitely not what I want for my kid. I want people to know her name (for good reasons!). When she's an adult, I hope she's assertive, projects a commanding presence and doesn't feel as though she has to apologize or ask permission to have opinions.

I want her to be more than a lady.

'Danger Word' Indiegogo campaign

Two authors I admire, Tananarive Due and Steven Barnes, have taken the initiative to create a short film based on a series they've written.

They've raised money for the filming and are now in the editing and production process. They're raising money for this stage, too.

Check out the video, and if you're interested, donate.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Repost: Do you have a favorite child?

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Sept. 26, 2012

In my experience, one of the benefits of being an only child is knowing that you're absolutely, without a doubt, your parents' favorite offspring.

So I'm at a bit of a loss in trying to really understand two recent stories about parents choosing favorites.

A Canadian dad named Buzz Bishop, who has two children, recently admitted in a blog post that his older son is his favorite. His older son, he said, is more fun, while his toddler is a bit of a handful.

In a related matter, it seems that being the favorite kid can have an effect on how a parent feels about the care an adult child provides for an elderly mother in her golden years. A study from Purdue University indicates that elderly women actually experience more stress if the child who provides care is not the one the mother wants than if the mother remains on her own.

Yikes.

To make matters worse, according to the study, if older parents and adult children don't discuss this issue, the children are only able to predict their moms' caregiver preferences about half the time.

Although it seems like a strange thing to discuss publicly, it makes perfect sense that parents would enjoy certain things about one child while enjoying completely different things about another.

Are you able to admit whether you have a favorite child? Why is that child your favorite?

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Repost: Caring for kids and parents -- at the same time

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Sept. 12, 2012

As fascinated as I am by childcare matters, there's another kind of care I worry about a lot: Elder care.

I'm at an age when my parents and other relatives are growing older and require more of my time -- at the same time when my daughter is also needy.

While I want to think of my parents as superhumans who will retain their physical and intellectual vibrancy for many decades to come, the truth is that I can already see them moving a bit more slowly. And since I'm an only child who expects to have sole responsibility for their care (albeit with the assistance of my husband) that scares me a bit, for both practical and emotional reasons.

I recognize that being around my parents and in-laws as they age is a tremendous gift for my daughter and will teach her a kind of grace.

That said, I need to figure out how to prepare to be an active, caring mom and an active, caring daughter. Is it possible to do all that without giving anyone short shrift? What happens when I have to decide between going to work, seeing the school play and taking one of my parents to a doctor appointment? I seriously do wonder how I'll make it all work, especially since I don't live in the same city as my parents.

For whatever reason, "The Squeeze" isn't something people speak about publicly.

These days, I'm starting to look at my family, life and possessions with a more critical eye to determine how everything could work for three generations, if necessary. For example, my daughter loves bounding up and jumping down the steps to the front door of our home, but those same steps can be difficult for an elderly person's knees. That same home is pretty small; would my family have to move if we needed to care for an elder at home? The small vehicles my husband and I have traditionally owned might need to be traded in for something more roomy with easier access.

It's all pretty exhausting, and I'm just in the thinking-about-these-things stage.

How do you handle "The Squeeze"?

Happy Fourth of July!

Single fathers head a record number of U.S. households

The face of single parenting in the U.S. is changing ever so slightly, according to a Pew Research Center study.

About eight percent of U.S. households are headed by a single father and just under a quarter of all single-parent households are headed by dads, according to the study. Those are record-high numbers.

Read more from my latest Moms At Work post.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Repost: Getting veggies into kids' diets

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Aug. 22, 2012 My daughter is very picky about what she eats and would be delighted to subsist solely on just white-colored foods such as chicken, rice and crackers.

Naturally, her father and I can't allow that to happen, so we find ourselves using trickery to find ways to get anything close to the recommended daily allowance of fruits and vegetables into her diet.

One thing that has worked for us: smoothies. Although we generally encourage her to drink water, she thinks of juice as a special treat, so she's happy when we break out our juicer and/or blender. There are things she'll drink when juiced (kale and beets come to mind) that she wouldn't touch as whole vegetables. It's been a huge relief, because when she's happy and getting her veggies, mommy and daddy are happy, too.

Here's a recipe, via SmoothieWeb, that's not unlike what I throw together (I generally find that a base of carrots and ginger makes any juice better):

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Repost: Are your kids compromising your family's security?

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Aug. 15, 2012

Like a lot of children, when I was in preschool, I enjoyed telling other people what I knew.

There were a couple of occasions when I proudly told strangers my first, middle and last names; how old I was; my address and the names of my parents. Luckily, one or both of my parents were nearby when that happened and they were able to drag me away before I also explained how to get in the house at night, where my mom kept her jewelry and what time we went to sleep.

Nobody took me that seriously when I was a toddler, but with the advent of GPS-enabled social media, it's entirely possible that today's kids can unwittingly give out a lot of information that could compromise the security of their families.

Alexa Dell, the 18-year-old daughter of Michael Dell, the very wealthy CEO of computer technology company Dell Inc., learned that difficult lesson recently. She often shared tidbits about her life, including her location, on social-media sites such as Instagram and Twitter. For any other teen, that's mostly unremarkable behavior.

Her parents, though, didn't find it so unremarkable, mostly because her father and his company spend nearly $3 million each year on the family's security. Alexa Dell's social-media accounts disappeared into the ether sometime late last week.

As someone who enjoys and uses social media both personally and professionally, this is something I think about frequently. Although we're nowhere near as wealthy as the Dells, I'd hate it if something I posted on social media resulted in my family or home being targeted by some unscrupulous person. I use Foursquare (mostly because I enjoy the specials and free offers I get from businesses I patronize regularly and because I'm competitive enough to enjoy battling friends to be "mayor" of various places), but I'm very cognizant of how much information about myself and my family I allow on that and other sites. While I don't mind "checking in" from work, church, the grocery store or the gym, I never check in, for example, from my daughter's school.

Have you had discussions about what is and isn't appropriate information to post on the Internet with your kids? What kinds of limitations have you placed on them?

Monday, July 1, 2013

Repost: What would cause you to disown a child?

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Aug. 8, 2012

Earlier this week, one of the thousands of posters on Reddit put up a heartbreaking post in which he reports that he was disowned by his father five years ago after confessing his homosexuality.

In a letter he wrote to his son, the father, citing his faith, said the son was living an unnatural lifestyle and declared that he would never again communicate with the son.

I find this absolutely shocking. I can't imagine disowning a child unless something serious (probably criminal and/or sociopathic) was involved. Sexual orientation doesn't meet that standard for me.

To their credit, many of the commenters on Reddit, which can sometimes be a difficult place to post about sensitive issues, supported the original poster. One memorable comment from the thread was from a man whose son had come out as gay; that dad was appalled by the decision made by the original poster's father.

How would you have responded in the original dad's position? Is there anything that could cause you to disown your child?